"Pantainorasingh brand. The perfect condiment for dipping any kind of spring rolls, and/or Thai fish cakes. Also a great dipping sauce for barbeque chicken, this is a thinner sauce than our sweet chili sauce for chicken. Packed in glass bottle. Made of water, red chile, turnip, carrot, palm sugar, salt and vinegar. No preservatives and no artificial coloring. Product of Thailand."
That's what they say.
I say (in sexy playground voice): Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh.
I can eat this shit with a spoon, until I get a headrush and have to sit down to sweat phosphorescently closer on down to the floor. It's so aggressively happy-looking, so exuberant. There's like very wrong foodstuff confetti swirling around in there, like some screaming mean kid's birthday party. Turnip. That's right, fucking turnip. Quit crying and eat your fancy-ass turnip, crybaby. Oh, waaaaahhhh, it buuuurrrns. Shutup. Give me the spoon and get out.
I got four huge-ass bottles in my pantry. That's not innuendo, that's no euphemism, that's just fact.
Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh.